naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
