What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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