Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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