He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
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