Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize