never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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