Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
