I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
