The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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