is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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