the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
