big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
