i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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