Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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