she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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