Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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