part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
