I'm really into asian looking animals
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
