It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
