u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize