then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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