I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Operation Purity has been aborted
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
