Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
