Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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