I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize