I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
