smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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