Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
