sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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