He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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