ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
