Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
