Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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