Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
