Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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