i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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