is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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