You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
