Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
