make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
