I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
