I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize