She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
