Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize