yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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