so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
