Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
