Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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