I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
