is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
