That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
