yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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