tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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