Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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