We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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