he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
