how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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