i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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