Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
