I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
