saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
