Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize