Got a toothbrush?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
