At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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