weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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