Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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