Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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