That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
