My sheets look like a crime scene.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
