btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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