EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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